【アメリア】ジョーク翻訳コンテスト4
翻訳コンテスト
ジョーク翻訳コンテスト 第4回
A REDNECK LETTER
 
Dear Son,

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Jaredからひとこと! Jaredの自己紹介
"What is a 'Redneck' Jared?", you are probably asking yourself.

Well, in America we (not me actually, since I'm such an internationally open minded person :-), but other more small minded people who like to sterotype) sometimes call people from the southern part of the U.S. (like Mississippi, Louisiana, Missouri, etc.) 'Rednecks' because their necks are so sunburn red from working out in the fields or tending their farms all day long.

However, what people really mean when they use this expression is that those people are likely to be rather poor, uneducated, simple minded, and pretty unsophisticated.

So, for example (and this is just an example other people might think of, not me of course!), if you showed a 'Redneck' a bidet (washlet here in Japan) they might think it was a handy fountain-type clothes washer, or an upside-down shower or something like that. If you take a second look at the joke, I'm sure you can find some other "realistic" examples.

But beware! Don't go running around calling people you think are simple-looking 'Rednecks' in America, because I guarantee they'll get "gosh darn riled up" (southern lingo meaning 'really mad'). They might actually be 'Rednecks', but it's still a bad idea.

How do you spot a 'Redneck' you ask? Well, just use the following hints to guide you:

1. A checkered red and white shirt, with torn armsleeves.
2. A 'ten gallon' straw hat on their head, and a stalk of wheat in their mouth.
3. A torn pair of jeans, with holes in the knees.
4. A shotgun rack in the rear window of their dirty old pick-up truck.
5. A bumper sticker which reads, "Buy American" or "Vote Republican".
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